Choosing who will be in your wedding party when planning a wedding can be one the most stressful elements of the process. It's hard enough choosing among your friends and family for your bridesmaids, but if you have a close teenage girl relative in your life, you also have to figure out how to incorporate her into your wedding. But you have options. Determine the right position for her based on how close you are and what she is most comfortable doing.
Make her a junior bridesmaid. This might be the most appropriate role for your teen daughter or another teen family member you are particularly close to. Her dress should be similar to the bridesmaids, although more appropriate for her age. She won't have the responsibilities of the bridesmaids, but she can be there to help you get dressed on your big day. You can also include the junior bridesmaid in activities such as wedding gown shopping and the bridal shower.
Make her an usher. Although ushers are traditionally men, many modern brides toss aside tradition and assign females as ushers. As an usher, the teenage girl can wear a dress of her choosing, but you can request a particular color if you wish. General usher duties include passing out wedding programs, escorting distinguished guests to their seats and handing out gift bags at the reception.
Give her a spoken role in the wedding. You can have a teenage family member give a special reading, such as a poem or a Bible scripture. Give the teen the reading at least a few weeks in advance so she can practice, especially if she might get nervous in front of a crowd. Ensure that she is at the wedding rehearsal so she knows where to stand when it's her time to speak.
Make her a general wedding attendant. She could be just the helper you need for random, last-minute needs on the day of the wedding. She can run out and pick up forgotten personal items, for example. You can also have the teen attend to the guest book, ensuring that everyone signs it, or attend the gift table, ensuring that all the gifts stay on the table and helping to load the gifts in the car at the end of the evening.
Don't assume the teen girl in your life wants to be a part of your wedding. Ask and let her know it's OK if she would rather not.