How to Be a Strong Mom When Your Son and His Step Dad Are Fighting

By Rebecca Cioffi ; Updated April 18, 2017
You love them both so don't take sides.
You love them both so don't take sides.

Dealing with divided allegiances is very difficult for any mother; when it's your son and your husband who are fighting, remaining strong can help them mend their disagreements. Remain calm and neutral; taking sides will only make the situation worse. Allow both of them to confide in you if necessary, but ultimately urge them to work their differences out together through talking, mediation and even counseling.

Remove yourself and your son from a potentially dangerous situation. Always call 911 and get out of the house if the situation looks like it might get physical.

Avoid taking sides. Even if you believe one person’s story is more valid than the other, still remain neutral. No one will benefit from you thinking you are for or against them.

Consider your other children as well. Ask your son and husband to leave the house if they are fighting in front of other children. Tell them to take their disagreement to the garage or outside to avoid upsetting everyone else.

Keep your issues to yourself. Allow your son and his stepfather to work out their differences first.

Explain to them that their fighting upsets you, but avoid getting overly emotional. They will listen to you when you are straightforward and honest.

Call a family meeting and ask for suggestions on how everyone can work through this. Perhaps time apart would help (take your son on a weekend vacation, for example, which would give him time away from his stepfather). Ask if they would be willing to attend family counseling sessions, and if so, ask for times and days that are best for their schedules.

Seek counseling yourself if your family won't attend with you. Talking to a therapist can help you remain strong and may provide you with suggestions on how to help your family members.

About the Author

Rebecca Cioffi worked in the entertainment industry for almost 20 years and is currently living in Phoenix, Ariz., where she is working on a book. She is also a phlebotomist.