Witnessing spoiled behaviour from children, or even enduring it yourself, can be highly frustrating but when an individual makes the transition from childhood to adulthood without taking the needs of others into account, the situation often escalates into poor relationship patterns that continue for a lifetime if left unchecked. Dealing with a spoiled adult requires different levels of reinforcement using explanation and education. Simply fighting back with your own aggression will only make matters worse and justify the type of behaviour you seek to eradicate.
Maintain open-ended levels of communication at all times and even when the situation becomes unbearable, give a spoiled adult the opportunity to express their opinions in a calm and rational manner 2. Allow for some cooling-off time if there are strong displays of rude, abrupt or potentially aggressive behaviour before speaking.
Never respond to spoiled behaviour negatively. Remember that some individuals use spoiled behaviour to evoke particular responses from their targets and making similar displays yourself will only escalate the problem. Use positive responses only to break the cycle of behaviour and prepare foundations for improved communication.
Place yourself in the position of the other adult and consider their reasons behind an outburst. Never condone spoiled behaviour but always seek to identify the reasons behind it. Remember that the spoiled adult may have a valid point to bring up but conditioning from previous experiences stops them from doing so in a controlled manner 2.
Define clear boundaries and highlight the differences between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour even when putting the theory into practice makes you feel uncomfortable. Be concise in the way you expect others to communicate with you and always be abundantly clear that even the most frustrating situations are easier to deal with when people show mutual respect for each other.
Never condescend to other adults as this frequently causes them to respond in a childish manner. Make it your own responsibility to be the grown-up during heated discussions by applying restraint and complete control over your own actions. Always remember that by setting a mature example yourself, a spoiled adult has somebody to learn from when it comes to controlling his or her own behaviour. Be a role model, not part of the problem.
Use praise as a tool when a spoiled adult deals with frustrating circumstances in a calm, responsible manner but be diplomatic in the way you communicate 2. Never humiliate other individuals by treating them like a child. Avoid focusing on the aspects of spoiled behaviour and express your praise by acknowledging the validity of an opinion. Make it clear you will give their feelings or requirements full consideration.
Be prepared to forgive outbursts. Display compassion and understanding to provide excellent examples of mature adult behaviour, remembering that the best way to resolve any communication problems is to lead by example.