Your 10-year-old daughter is in the pre-adolescent stage of her life. You may be noticing her going through changes and challenging your authority. This is a time in which you want to build her self-esteem and also have expectations and boundaries in place. Disciplining your 10-year-old daughter requires having frank discussions with her and informing her of the consequences for breaking the rules.
Implement a rewards chart. Create a chart on poster board. Draw a calendar for the month. Sit down with your daughter and work with her to come up with the behavior she must exhibit in order to earn a sticker that day for her chart. Together, come up with what the reward will be once the chart is full. Display the chart somewhere your daughter will see it on a regular basis to remind her of the goal toward which she is working.
Sit down with your daughter and discuss your expectations for what her behavior needs to be. For example, discuss that you expect that she will do what she is told the first time. Give your child a reminder, whether it is verbal, written or a gesture, when she needs to do what you have asked.
Take away your daughter's privileges. Discuss with your daughter the expectations you have of her. Ten-year-olds tend to sometimes develop quick tempers, so one problem you may have with your daughter is that she argues with you when you ask her to do something. Explain to her ahead of time that if she chooses to argue with you, you will take away one of her privileges, such as TV time.
Hold a family meeting once a week. Set aside a few hours one day a week to discuss any behavioral issues with your daughter that are unacceptable. For example, if your daughter leave her clothes scattered around the house, this is the time to discuss the importance of being responsible and putting her clothes in the hamper. Talk to your daughter, and get her feedback as to how these issues should be solved. Also set aside some time during the meeting to play games or do a craft. Building a solid relationship with your child helps lay a foundation for discipline.
Choose your battles. That means that you should not harp on everything your child does. Be selective with what behaviors you will not tolerate from your child. Selective ignoring is something to implement. Ignore those behaviors that are minor, but take on the ones that you feel are important enough to be addressed. For example, you can ignore the loud music playing in your daughter's room, but you should not ignore her rude behavior.
Implement time-outs. A time-out is often used for toddlers but can also be a tool to use with 10-year-olds, as children this age can be quick to lose their tempers. It removes the child from the situation and gives her time to think about what she has done and regain control of herself. It is recommended that a child be placed in a time-out for the amount of minutes her age is. So a time-out for your 10-year-old would be ten minutes.