10 Comebacks for Snarky Comments About Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

By Candy Kirby

It’s no secret that we parents have to deal with a host of unwelcome comments about how we’re raising our kids — and stay-at-home moms are no exception. Since I’ve already provided a list of Comebacks for Working Moms, I thought it was only fair that I help stay-at-home mothers deflect some of the snarkier remarks they might hear as well. Here are 10 comments (with thanks to my mom, who was a stay-at-home mom of three and shared many of these real-life remarks), along with suggested lighthearted responses:

10. Comment: “When the kids are older, do you think you’ll get a real job?”
Comeback: “By ‘real,’ do you mean one that actually allows a lunch break and time to surf the ‘Net?”

9. Comment: “How June Cleaver of you!”
Comeback: “Minus the pearl necklace, tea rose arrangements, perfect dinners, constantly chipper attitude and perma-smile.”

8. Comment: “Oh, so you don’t work?”
Comeback: “I do — only difference is, my colleagues can’t dress themselves yet.”

7. Comment: “Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?”
Comeback: “I actually have less time than you think, but I know a wonderful man named Trader Joe who can make them for you.”

6. Comment: “All day with your kids? I can’t even imagine.”
Comeback: “You’ve obviously seen the way they constantly demand hugs and affection. Blech!”

5. Comment: “I’m jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn’t have to work either.”
Comeback: “Oh, somebody’s husband is rich? Who? I love gossip!”

4. Comment: “So what do you do all day, anyway?”
Comeback: “Do you have all day to listen to me answer that question?”

3. Comment: “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’re not the only one who’s ever wasted money on a college degree.”
Comeback: “What do you mean? I’m totally using my masters in domestic engineering!”

2. Comment: “You stay at home? That explains why your son is so clingy.”
Comeback: “That, and the shock collar I make him wear.”

1. Comment: “Weird. I assumed your house would be super clean.”
Comeback: “Unfortunately, the only part of our house that the kids don’t bulldoze is the veggie drawer in the fridge.”

Oftentimes, a good sense of humor is the best defense. A good shock collar can’t hurt, either. (I kid.)

Photo credit: iclipart.com