Wanting your teen to feel proud of herself when she achieves a personal goal or accomplishes something wonderful is a natural desire for parents everywhere. It can be frustrating, however, when you realize your teen isn’t proud of herself for her accomplishments. She’s done something worth being proud of yet she isn’t. You might be confused at her lack of enthusiasm over her accomplishment, but the problem may very well be that she doesn’t have the self-esteem or confidence to believe she deserves to be proud of herself. Your job is to make sure you build these personality traits in her so that she is confident enough to understand she can be proud of herself.
Praise your teen when he does something praise-worthy, advises the American Academy of Pediatrics. When you spend time showing him you are proud of him for his accomplishments and goals, it helps to build his self-esteem and his ability to also feel proud of his own accomplishments. The next time he meets his goal of finishing his homework on Friday night so that he can spend the weekend relaxing, tell him you’re proud of him for making a goal and meeting that goal.
Teach your teen that perfection is not the goal, advises KidsHealth. One of the most common reasons for not feeling proud of herself when she succeeds is that she may feel like she could have done it better/faster/smarter. When she focuses on what she could have done better rather than what she already did to help her succeed, she misses the point and doesn’t feel any sense of pride. When she succeeds at getting the best grade in her class on a project, don’t let her wallow in the fact that the smartest kid in the class turned his in late and that’s why she got the best grade. Let her focus on the fact that her hard work paid off in the end.
Encourage your teen to take part in activities he enjoys, advises the American Academy of Pediatrics. It may help your teen to feel proud of himself when he excels at something he really enjoys, such as playing baseball or taking part in the student government at his school. When he really enjoys something and he does well at it, it’s hard for him not to feel pride in his successes.
Believe in your teen, advises KidsHealth. When you believe in your kid, she is more likely to believe in herself. When she believes in herself, she is more likely to feel pride in her accomplishments and to feel that she is capable of doing great things. Self-esteem gives her the confidence to feel pride and to respect herself enough to know she can do anything.