How to Be Happy Single Parents

By braniac
Be  Happy Single Parents

Single parents have a tough time of juggling parenting and being single. Use a positive approach to single parenting and increase your happiness.

Focus on your children. If they are the center of your life, they will know it and respond. If they see that you are traumatized and uncomfortable or insecure about being alone, they will sense it and respond by reflecting your fear and insecurity. Single parenting is not a curse, and if you view it that way, so will your children.

Get to know yourself. Being without a relationship or partner is a great time to get to know yourself and become comfortable being alone. Instead of thinking that you have to stay home rather than go out alone, practice being comfortable enough with yourself to go out to lunch with your favorite book, or see a movie that you always wanted to see and couldn't because your partner didn't want to. It has been terrifying to watch friends go from one bad relationship to another because they would rather be in a bad relationship than no relationship at all.

Involve your children with positive role models that reflect the missing parent. I'm not talking about finding a substitute daddy or mommy, rather, exposing your children to uncles, grandpas, aunts, grandmas, or friends that reflect the values you approve of will go a long way in filling the gap that an absent parent leaves. My children are adopted, and have no father. I mistakenly started our family believing that I could give my children ANYTHING that a man could, and I was wrong. The best I can do for them, as a single woman, is regularly let them have safe contact with men who encourage them, wrestle with them, listen to them, and reflect the best qualities of men. I have found great opportunity for this in my church.

Let your children know that they complete you. If you believe that you are nothing without a man or a woman, your children will believe that, too. If you decide that you are a complete family as you ARE, and you live accordingly, your children will also believe that. If I never find a mate that I want to spend the rest of my life with, I will still be happy with my family just as it is. If I do find someone, he will be a bonus!

If your children are old enough to understand, and seem concerned about you being a single parent, explain to them that it is okay with you. Tell them that they complete your idea of a family, and that you don't HAVE to have someone else to be happy, but if the time is right, and the person is right for your family, you might consider an addition. If they realize that you aren't pressured, worried and concerned about being single, they won't be so worried either.

Understand that you can't be everything to your kids. If you are a guy, you can't be everything that there mother would be, because you are a guy. Likewise, if you are a girl, you cannot replace everything that a father could give to your child. Do the best you can, and look to your friends and family to fill in the gaps. Get your sister to make really cool birthday treats for your daughter's class, or get your brother to take the kids camping or fishing.

Tip

Give yourself a break. No one is perfect! Enjoy your children, pretty soon they will be gone! There's no time like the present to get to know yourself! When there's no one at the other end of the phone when you have a problem, get AAA! When my car breaks down, they come and take us home. When my father was in the hospital, they came to the hospital and cashed a check so that we could eat!

Warning

Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.